Man-cub #1's Journals | Moving to the Nursery!

We got the baby's nursery all put together a couple of months before he was born, and Derek and I would sit in there talking and dreaming about what it would be like to have him in there. That room is one of the instances where I'd say, "I missed him," even before he was born, which is a weird thing to say about someone you've never met, but it's the only way I had to describe the excitement, the longing, the hope -- all of it combined, that we had when we were pregnant with him.

When we brought him home, and put him in the crib, he was just SOOOO little in there, we decided to get a co-sleeper, and he slept in our bed for the better part of 4 or so months, until he got too big for it, and learned to rollover, and our backs started to hurt from having to sleep on the edges of the bed to make room for it. We noticed he wasn't sleeping super great, and would wake up every time he hit the walls of the co sleeper. We tried to have him just sleep with us, but my son is a cuddler, and baby cuddling isn't a "snuggle here under my arms" kind of cuddle, it's more of a "hey mom, I love you so much, I'm gonna put my foot in your face, or wake you up with my finger in your eye."

So he graduated to a pack and play in our room. Man, that pack and play has some great memories. That's where he learned how to sleep through the night, how to pull himself up to stand, how to crawl on his hands and knees. That's where I heard him snore for the first time, that's where I would look down on him asleep every night before I went to bed, where we played peek-a-boo before I got him out when he woke up.

Goodness, time just goes so fast!

This weekend, we put him in his crib to sleep through the night for the first time, in his own room. We bought a video baby monitor, and I've been watching him, fall asleep, and his routine, and I knew he'd be OK. So just on a whim, and trying not to overthink it, I asked Derek to help me get his room set up, and pack up the pack and play. I read him a story, put him in his jammies, laid him down, and watched the monitor like a hawk, half hoping he would cry and I could rush in, whisk my baby into my arms, say he's not ready, and keep him right next to me where he belongs. I was more than half hoping, because even now as I type this, it makes me a little sad to think of my baby, my first born, growing up and not needing me as much as he did.

Guys, he is SUCH a good son. I can't put into word how many times he makes me proud to be his mom everyday. He just gets me, and sometimes, if I'm really lucky, we'll lock eyes and he'll look at me in that way that says he's happy that I get him as well.

My fantastic, growing-up-way-too-fast son, fell right asleep, and stayed asleep, all the way until morning. He's been doing his naps in there as well, and he fell right into rhythm. 

I don't know if he even knows that something is different. That mommy and daddy aren't right across the room. What I do hope he knows is how much we love him. In subtle ways, like daddy (Mr. Talk a big game about being ready to have our room back) leaving our bedroom door wide open so he could hear him, and make sure he's OK, to not-so-subtle ways like mommy typing this out at 5am half in tears watching you sleeping on the monitor.

This is just  the first in a long list of transitions coming up in his life, and emotional as it is, I am here for all of it.