Help, My Kid Hates School!
Gentle Shifts to Restore Joy in Your Homeschool
I hear your heart in this, and I want to say first: it’s not too late. Not even close. You are exactly the mom God chose for your children and you can absolutely shepherd their hearts and mind back to joy.
Let’s look at this not just as “fixing school,” but as rebuilding trust. Somewhere along the way, school stopped feeling like wonder and started feeling like pressure. So your mission this year? Restore delight. Restore dignity. Restore desire.
Here’s how we start:
1. Start with Identity, Not Achievement
Your child needs to know that school isn’t about performance, it’s about becoming. Try saying this to them often:
“You are incredibly smart, and God made your mind to do amazing things. School isn’t about finishing worksheets. It’s about discovering what God put inside you.”
You’re sowing seeds here. Not every moment has to feel magical, but the tone of your words and presence can make them feel safe and seen again.
2. Rebuild Reading as Relationship
Let’s stop calling it “reading time.” Let’s call it “Story Hour,” or something cozy and inviting.
Make it about connection.
Here are a few ideas:
Let them stay up 30 minutes later with a book light and a book in bed, let it feel special.
Start reading a series together that hooks them in (I’ll list some great in a future post).
Pick a book where the hero, is similar to them and they can see themselves in the story. Let them fall in love with someone else’s world before they knows how to build their own.
3. Work with Their Wiring
If they're bright but school feels boring, you may have a gifted or exceptional learner who needs more challenge or different formats.
Try:
Audiobooks with graphic novels as a follow-up.
Short, high-impact lessons (15-20 min max) visual timers are great
Interest-led unit studies: Dinosaurs? Baseball? Inventions? Let them drive.
When they see that school can match their curiosity, the resistance starts to fade.
4. Use the 3:1 Delight Ratio
Every one hard thing (reading aloud, handwriting, math) should be followed by three things that delight:
Something they love learning about
Something they feel good at
Something you do together
Example:
Math lesson
Drawing their favorite Pokémon or building a new LEGO set
Listening to an audiobook together
Snack and recess outside
Let the joy lead.
5. Pray Over Their Mind
Ask God to reignite their curiosity. To lift any shame from past school experiences. To help you see them not just as your student, but as a soul-in-training.
You’re not behind, friend. You’re on holy ground. Make this the year of rebuilding wonder.
But, What If I’ve Tried All This & Nothing Is Working?!
Oh friend, that right there, that’s the heart of it. And you’re not failing. You’re discerning. And that’s the first step to wisdom.
What you’re feeling isn’t a lack of ability, it’s the weight of trying to mother and mentor and manage, all at once, without a strong enough rhythm to hold it up. And without rhythm, it all feels like reaction.
But what if I told you…
👉🏼 You can build a rhythm that serves you and Asher?
👉🏼 That this isn’t about doing more, but doing less, better?
Let’s slow it all down and reframe the problem:
THE REAL CHALLENGE:
You’re probably a mom of many, trying to pour from a cup that’s already half-spilled by the time you get to the child who most needs the overflow.
The truth is, your child is likely not hard to teach, they are just hard to reach when you’re already tired. (Please extend grace for the generalization, I realize a lot of us mother children with special needs who may not necessarily fall under the scope of this post.)
THE SOLUTION:
A Morning Block Schedule + “Together Time” first
This will:
Restore your energy flow (start with the hardest heart first)
Reduce the FOMO (everyone gets “special time”)
Cut down time in half by batching together some learning
Bring your child back to the center, where he feels seen again
TIPS TO MAKE THIS WORK
Prep the day before: Set out each child’s materials in their own bin so it’s grab-and-go.
Simplify the curriculum: Focus on the core: reading, writing, language. And build out from there.
Use a visual schedule: Show them when their time is coming. This builds anticipation instead of frustration. This also helps reluctant learners feel a bit of control, when they know the routine and what to expect.
Reward effort, not outcomes: A punch card, sticker, or even a cozy cocoa can mark progress.
Guard mornings like gold: No phone. No distraction. That first hour is sowing roots, not just results.
And For You, Mama…
I’d love to gently challenge you to start with you before the kids each morning. Even 15 minutes.
Light a candle.
Open the Word.
Ask the Lord: “Who needs my full heart today?”
The truth is, these last 3 points probably summarize this whole post.
I know there’s a subset of parents who don’t see any fruit in getting up before their kids. But, for me, the days where everything seems to fall apart, are 90% of the time linked to my own lack of discipline in these 3 areas. The secret to disciplined and consistent kids is disciplined and consistent moms.
Children are wired for routines. Busy moms with a lot on their plate, not so much. Commit your own discipline and consistency to the Lord…meaning, lean on Him for strength, and do what you can to hold on to that strength when He gives it to you.
Remember the fruit of your homeschool isn’t found in how fast they read or how many subjects you cover. It’s found in the peace of the home and the presence you offer.
Update: Check out Part 2 of this post:
When School Feels Heavy: A 4-Week Rebuild for the Heart of Homeschool
This is part 2 of my post: Help, My Kid Hates School!