One word God has been pressing into my heart lately is...stay.
I grew up in the internet revolution age where the sermon of the day was about not catering to instant gratification. And the pastor would use an illustration like, "homemade slow cooker meals taste better than frozen food from a microwave." I never really connected with that illustration, especially now as a wife, homeschooling mom of four, with a full time job, basically, a woman doing all the things, who doesn't believe cooking needs to take all day.
I didn't resonate with the illustration, but I connected with the point.
Am I going to be a woman that stays? A mom that stays? A wife that stays? A friend that stays?
A woman that stays planted
Here's another church sermon illustration--this one is so old, you can find it in the Bible.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us...
Hebrews 12:1
The Bible describes our walk with Jesus as a race. To define it even more clearly, we've heard speakers use the phrase, "it's a marathon not a sprint".
In the marathon of faith, am I going to be a woman that stays? Will my faith stay, through the hard times. Will my devotion remain through the good times, when I don't feel the desperate needs that so often drive us to our knees? Does my faith need crisis banging on the other side of the door for me to stay committed, for me to pray, for me to rejoice in Him, for me to seek Him.
A mom that stays
I'm the parent that adores the newborn phase. I have had some rough pregnancies. With my last baby, I had to be constantly under a fan. The smell of air literally made me sick. But, I would still go through all of it again and again, because I LOVE babies. I love the baby phase. I have a love/hate relationship with midnight feedings. I love the scrunchy faces and the squished up legs...you know how when you lift a baby up they tuck in their legs and it's like the cutest thing ever...I love that!
But, we all know the newborn phase is the shortest season of life our kids are ever going to go through. So when that fun to me season passes, am I going to be a mom that stays? Stays through the tantrums, the stubbornness that so often reflects our own hearts. Are we going to be the mom that stays in the discomfort and the self-sacrifice? That understands that even though our flesh craves one minute to ourself, our children demand and deserve our presence?
A wife that stays
After 7 years of marriage, you get really good at telling the story of how you met. My husband and I have perfected our "how we met" story and we've really honed in on the parts that make you go "awww". I love that. It feels good when you see it in people's eyes' that they get it, they caught a glimpse of the love you felt for each other. I'll tell you right now, the longer you've been married, the better those "awww's" get. Those first years, when you share your story, you'll probably get a lot of "wow, that's cool", which you can also read as, "wow, that sounds so sketchy, there's no way this works out." Ha, but the longer you're married the better that story gets.
Here's the question though, are you going to be a wife that stays past the initial feelings of bliss? Are you going to be a wife that stays when the responsibilities of life come knocking on your door. Are you going to be a wife that stays through the hard, and often messy unwinding of past lives that marriage leads to as you build a new life.
Another often preached sermon on marriage is on how marriage requires dying to self. We die to our right to be right. We die to all the things we think we deserve. We die to our right to be served, as we seek to serve. We die to our flesh as we build our devotion. The secret to a successful marriage, is how quickly we are both willing to die to ourselves. Am I going to be a wife that stays through that?
I'm going to put a little PSA here: I am never, will never advocate for staying in a situation that is bound to steal, kill or destroy you--physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, in any way. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy, not God. If you are in a situation like this. Flee. Flee to a trusted friend, to a counselor, away from that place. That is not God's best for you.
A friend that stays
This is probably the one I feel the most in this season. I believe God has called believers to eradicate this wave of loneliness that's hit our generation. I think 2020 forced us us behind closed doors, and "bubbles", and some of us never made it back out. So many of us, SO many of us are going through life alone, because the rest of us are going through life in the comfort of our bubbles. We have our families, we have our childhood best friends, we have sisters and sisters in law and cousins, we have the safety of the known and we don't need anymore people in our bubble. I want to challenge you to look beyond your bubble, and bring people in. If you're the person who doesn't need more people in your bubble, God is specifically calling you to make a new bubble for someone else. OK, I won't say the word bubble again :) but for real, gather a group of people together, and give them a chance to form friendships with each other.
Listen guys, I can't overstate this. Loneliness is debilitating. We need each other.
Jesus' last words to us were to "go out to the world and preach the gospel". Gone are the days when going out into the world was for the chosen few, the missionaries, for "some of us". This is a call placed on every believer's heart. The world isn't as big as it used to be. Going out into the world looks like inviting people to your dinner table. It looks like making space for one more over the holidays. It looks like staying in the discomfort of forming friends and relationships. It looks like showing up when you've been invited instead of finding an excuse--and there will be plenty--not to. It looks like not hopping from one interaction to another looking for a quick fix, but actually staying in the conversation and getting to know someone. It looks like staying vulnerable and inviting people into the mess and beyond the facade we put up to the world when we pretend we're perfect and everything's OK. It looks like showing up with a coffee on someone's door when you know they need encouragement.
Staying isn't the dopamine hit of being liked or popular, staying is often in the unseen. It's the text that goes unresponded to that you don't get bitter about. It's the prayers you offer up for people that may never even know about it. It's giving with no expectation of receiving.
How do we do that? Here's the other thing Jesus said before He sent us out, "...but you will receive power and ability when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be My witnesses..." (Acts 1:8) He said that we don't have to do it in our own strength. In fact, we can't do it in our own strength. The Holy Spirit strengthens us and encourages us, and fills us up so we can pour it out. You don't need man to fill you up, you don't need them to reciprocate so you can be a good friend. Jesus is the ultimate friend, who never leaves us nor forsakes us. We give because of Him. He fills us up, He rewards us.
Do you know why the enemy's play is loneliness; attacking friendship? Because friends help us stay in all the other areas of life. Friends encourage us and build us up in the Word. Friends remind us who God has called us to be when we forget. Friends pray for us and our kids, and make freezer meals when we're in busy seasons. Friends show up in the hard times and remind us we're not alone. Friends help us stay in our marriages, they share their testimonies, they help us know that we are not alone, and that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
See, so often I see us trying to bargain our way out of staying. We find cute names for it: self-care, me-time. Sometimes we find not so cute names for it: irreconcilable differences, divorce. We start believing that the mantle of formation God has placed on us is too heavy, and we choose to step out from under it. We start to look for easy, all the while forgetting that hard is not the same as bad.
I want you to pay attention to this part:
For those whom He foreknew [and loved and chose beforehand], He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son [and ultimately share in His complete sanctification]
Formation. Our purpose here on earth, let me tell you, because we so often wander around the world searching for our purpose, myself included. Our purpose here on this earth is not to find work or vocation that satisfies our soul. No work or vocation can fill that space. Our purpose here on this earth, is formation. It's time between creation and eternity, that God has predestined for our formation. To be conformed into the image of His Son, Jesus.
And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.
For those whom He foreknew [and loved and chose beforehand], He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son [and ultimately share in His complete sanctification], so that He would be the firstborn [the most beloved and honored] among many believers.
And those whom He predestined, He also called; and those whom He called, He also justified [declared free of the guilt of sin]; and those whom He justified, He also glorified [raising them to a heavenly dignity].
Romans 8:28-30 (Amplified)
Here's my challenge to you. Stay. Ask God if there are places in your life He's calling you to stay and stay. Consistency is hard. Commitment is hard. But hard is not the same thing as bad. Stay. There's blessing in staying.