This week’s episode of The Quiet Revival is all about staying: staying rooted, staying faithful, staying present when it would be easier to quit. Below is the full written reflection if you prefer to read, share, or revisit it in your own quiet time.
One word God has been pressing into my heart lately is… stay.
I grew up in the internet revolution age where every sermon seemed to preach against instant gratification. The pastor would often use an illustration like,
“Homemade slow cooker meals taste better than frozen food from a microwave.”
I never really connected with that illustration, especially now, as a wife, homeschooling mom of four, with a full-time job. A woman doing all the things who doesn’t believe cooking needs to take all day.
I didn’t resonate with the example, but I understood the point.
Am I going to be a woman who stays?
A mom who stays?
A wife who stays?
A friend who stays?
A woman who stays planted?
Here’s another sermon illustration; this one is even older. You can find it in the Bible.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us…
Hebrews 12:1
The Bible describes our walk with Jesus as a race. To make it even clearer, we often hear it said: “It’s a marathon, not a sprint.”
In this marathon of faith, am I going to be a woman who stays? Will my faith endure the hard times? Will my devotion remain through the good times, when I don’t feel the desperate needs that often drive us to our knees? Does my faith require crisis knocking at the door for me to stay committed…for me to pray, to rejoice in Him, to seek Him?
A mom that stays
I’m the parent who adores the newborn phase. I've had some rough pregnancies. With my last baby, I needed a fan on me at all times, the smell of air made me nauseous. Air. But I would still do it all again, because I love babies. I love the baby phase. I have a love/hate relationship with midnight feedings. I love the scrunchy faces and the squished-up legs… you know, how when you lift a baby, they tuck in their legs and it’s the cutest thing ever. I love that.
But we all know the newborn phase is the shortest season of our kids’ lives. So when that sweet season passes, am I going to be a mom who stays? Who stays through tantrums, through the stubbornness that so often mirrors our own hearts?
Are we going to be the moms who stay in the discomfort and the self-sacrifice? Who understand that even though our flesh craves five minutes to ourselves, our children need and deserve our presence?
A wife that stays
After nine years of marriage, you get really good at telling the story of how you met. My husband and I have perfected our story. We’ve honed in on the parts that make people say, “Awww.” I love that. It feels good when you see it in someone’s eyes…that they get it, they catch a glimpse of the love you felt for each other.
I’ll tell you right now: the longer you’ve been married, the better those “awww’s” get. Those first few years, when you share your story, you’ll probably hear a lot of, “Wow, that’s cool,” which you can also read as: “Wow, that sounds so sketchy; there’s no way this works out.”
Ha. But the longer you’re married, the sweeter the story becomes.
Here’s the real question though: Are you going to be a wife who stays beyond the initial feelings of bliss? Are you going to stay when the responsibilities of life come knocking? Will you stay through the hard and often messy unwinding of past lives as you build a new one together?
Another sermon we’ve heard is that marriage requires dying to self.
We die to our right to be right.
We die to the things we think we deserve.
We die to our right to be served as we seek to serve.
We die to our flesh as we build our devotion.
We die to the illusion that we belong only to ourselves and lean into belonging to each other.
We die to our need for self-sufficiency and control and step into deeper trust.
The secret to a successful marriage? It’s how quickly we are both willing to die to ourselves. Am I going to be a wife who stays through that?
PSA: I will never, ever advocate for staying in a situation that steals, kills, or destroys you—physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, or otherwise. The devil comes to steal, kill, and destroy—not God. If you are in a situation like this, flee. Flee to a trusted friend, a counselor. Leave that place. That is not God’s best for you.
A friend that stays
This is probably the one I feel most deeply in this season. I believe God is calling believers to push back against the wave of loneliness hitting our generation. I think 2020 forced us behind closed doors, behind our “bubbles,” and some of us never really came back out.
So many of us are going through life alone because the rest of us are comfortably nestled in our bubbles. We have our families. Our childhood best friends. Our sisters and sisters-in-law and cousins. We have the safety of the known, and we tell ourselves we don’t need more people.
But I want to challenge you: Look beyond your bubble. Bring people in. If you’re the person who thinks, I don’t need more people in my life, God may be specifically calling you to make room for someone else.
Okay, I won’t say the word bubble again. :)
But seriously…gather people together. Give them the chance to form friendships with one another.
I can’t overstate this: Loneliness is debilitating.
We need each other.
Jesus’ last words to us were to “Go out into the world and preach the gospel.”
Gone are the days when “going out into the world” was reserved for missionaries. This is a call placed on every believer’s heart. And today, the world isn’t as big as it used to be. Going out into the world might look like inviting someone to your dinner table. It might look like making space for one more over the holidays. It might look like staying in the discomfort of forming friendships and relationships. It looks like showing up when you’ve been invited, despite all the excuses you could make not to. It looks like staying in conversations, not hopping from one interaction to another looking for a quick fix. It looks like staying vulnerable, inviting people into the mess beneath the polished facade. It looks like showing up with a coffee on someone’s doorstep when you know they need encouragement.
The world needs more Christian women who understand that friendship isn’t about validating old insecurities or chasing affirmation. Friendship is ministry.
It’s crossing the road to tend to the needs of the least of these.
Staying isn’t about chasing the dopamine hit of being liked or popular. Staying is often unseen. It’s the text that goes unanswered [without bitterness]. It’s the prayers whispered for people who may never know. It’s giving with no expectation of return.
How do we do that?
Here’s what else Jesus said before sending us out:
“But you will receive power and ability when the Holy Spirit comes upon you; and you will be My witnesses…”
Acts 1:8
He made it clear: We don’t have to do this in our own strength. In fact, we can’t.
The Holy Spirit strengthens us, encourages us, fills us up so we can pour out.
You don’t need people to fill you up. You don’t need them to reciprocate in order to be a good friend. Jesus is the ultimate Friend. He never leaves us nor forsakes us. We give because of Him. He fills us. He rewards us.
Do you know why the enemy’s attack is loneliness?
Because friends help us stay. Friends encourage us. Friends build us up in the Word. Friends remind us who God called us to be when we forget. Friends pray for us and our kids. Friends show up with freezer meals in the busy seasons. Friends show up in the hard seasons and remind us: you’re not alone.
Friends help us stay in our marriages. They share testimonies. They remind us there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
So often we try to bargain our way out of staying. We find cute names for it: self-care, me-time. Sometimes we find not-so-cute names: irreconcilable differences, divorce.
We start to believe the mantle of formation God has placed on us is too heavy.
We look for easy and soft… forgetting that hard is not the same as bad.
Pay attention to this part:
For those whom He foreknew [and loved and chose beforehand], He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son [and ultimately share in His complete sanctification]...
Romans 8:28-30 (AMP)
Formation.
Our purpose here on earth? Let me tell you, because we so often wander around searching for it. Myself included.
Our purpose is not to find work or vocation that satisfies our souls.
No job or title can fill that space.
Our purpose is formation.
The time between creation and eternity is time God predestined for our formation—to be conformed into the image of His Son, Jesus.
And we know, with great confidence, that God, who is deeply concerned about us, causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him, who are called according to His plan and purpose.
Those He predestined, He also called. Those He called, He justified. Those He justified, He glorified.
Here’s my challenge to you: Stay.
Ask God if there are places in your life He’s calling you to stay.
And stay.
Consistency is hard. Commitment is hard.
But hard is not the same as bad.
Stay.
There’s blessing in staying.
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